


Jealousy and Other Struggles

by mynameisyarra



Series: The Fowl Siblings and Other Struggles [1]
Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Depression, Family Drama, Gen, Neurodiversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:31:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisyarra/pseuds/mynameisyarra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Artemis Fowl II came home, the colors have already faded from his world.</p><p>Meant to be part of the sequel, but ends up becoming a prequel drabble</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy and Other Struggles

Artemis Fowl the Second went missing when he was fourteen. His parents were terrified beyond belief, searching all over the globe with the determination of a broken family trying to put themselves together again. Artemis sometimes heard about how his father was almost tempted to go back to the life of crime just to get him back. But he never did. Artemis came back years later, still the same, yet the world around him had changed.

His little brothers were still toddlers when they first met. Small, unassuming, and perhaps something people would describe as cute. However Artemis did not feel the loving urge or protectiveness his family seemed to develop for them. But jealousy? The seeds had been sowed in his heart the very first time Butler mentioned them. It wasn't hard to count how much time passed between his disappearance and the his mother's pregnancy. Artemis knew he was a terrible person. He never knew how much until he realized that he already hated his siblings before meeting them.

When his mother hugged him, crying, welcoming him back home, Artemis didn't cry. He hugged her back. Apologizing for being so reckless, with his eyes shut as if he was trying to squeeze out tears from his glands. Wouldn't it be more appropriate for him to cry too? But he couldn't. His throat was dry, his voice crack, but he couldn't cry. But that was alright because his mother and father were happy to have him back.

The toddlers scrutinized him, asking who is this? Who is this boy?

"I'm Artemis Fowl the Second." He introduced himself. "Your brother."

The words sounded fake to him. He needed time to get used to it.

* * *

"How does one describe Artemis Fowl?"

His mother would call him a shy boy. Always avoiding party and the people that would like to befriend him. Everyone else's parents would smile politely and told her they envied her for having such a quiet and well behaved child. Angeline smiled back and sighed a little, saying she would at least wanted him to socialize more with people his age.

His father was proud of him. Such a talented child, such a waste if he was to use his skills for crimes, he murmured. Wasn't it a good thing that The Fowls starting over a new leaf then? He said, a crisp laughter coming out of his throat as he toasted with his new business partners. He would never admit that he was a bit scared of his own son.

His little brothers… would call him weird. Which was something his schoolmates agreed on. Luckily for the Fowl twins, they never needed to feel fear for their older brother like the students of St. Bartleby's did. Artemis might be weak, physically, but he could do and had done unimaginable things that boys his age shouldn't be capable of.

While Artemis himself? He would describe himself as broken. He had done terrible things to get his family back. He almost lost everything because of it. The family he fought to protect, the fortune he worked for, his sanity… but there was no room for regret. For even after all the horror that followed his life, he gained important friends along the way.

\---

Artemis knew who he was. He knew he had trouble processing affection, or the feeling of empathy. He knew it wasn't his fault, it was a product of his harsh childhood and he understood that. He knew that change was always hard for him, he could adapt eventually, but people always thought he adapted faster than he really did because he was so good at pretending. He would get to the point where he would stop being jealous of his brothers, eventually.

He knew. But knowing is different than believing.

As he watched his father playing tussles with his siblings, he believed that Myles and Beckett were the happiness that his parents needed. The ones his parents deserved.

Seven weeks and a day after returning to his family, Artemis finally cried. No one knew, not even Butler. He made sure of that.

* * *

When he decided to visit Haven again, it was not to create havoc, much to everyone's suspicion. It was to ask for help. He talked to Holly, his best friend, that he needed help dealing with these emotions. Jealousy, anger, depression, paranoia... he knew he needed a professional help. Holly looked at him with surprise on her face. That expression turned into something firm and proud. "I'm glad you called me, Arty." The elf looked like she was going to cry. "I'm glad you trust me."

"How could I not? We have bonded through various traumatizing situations--"

"And Stockholm Syndrome."

"And Stockholm Syndrome, it would be impossible for me to think of you as anything less than my trusted best friend."

Her eyes water a bit as she punched him as lightly as possible. Artemis still winced, and she called him a baby. "I will make sure you get the best of the best. And also that this 'best' wouldn't treat you as a stepping stone toward fame." Good. Something didn't change. And it felt good.

* * *

It took two years for Artemis to feel like himself again. Butler looked somewhat hurt that he didn't tell the bodyguard about his therapy sessions. "It is not that I don't trust you, old friend." Artemis assured him. "But I do not want to worry you."

Butler didn't look at him, or perhaps he did, under the sunglasses. "I know, Artemis." He sighed. "I just wish you would let me worry."

Another color bloomed inside of Artemis' usually grey world. It felt good.


End file.
